iktah © 2018Everything that is written inside this diary, is my personal feelings and stuff like that. I write everything that's on my mind in here. And if anybody thinks that somethings aren't supposed to be here, send me a mail: bloggois at iktah dot com
i was talking to my love Aimee that lives in New York and it seems that she's had a couple of setbacks lately. I made her laugh. I'm good!
I won't get into spesifics, but when shitty things happend in your life you kinda expect your friends to cheer you up and stuff like that. This guy she's been into lately didn't even give her a fucking phonecall... how retarted is that. fucking wanker. If i knew she had problems and were living in NY, I'd fucking drop things to go help her. Belive me, she's worth it. Aimee, love... You know I'd help you. *kisses*
Aimee is a girl I got to know by IRC. I'm happy that I started talking to her. If/when I go to the states, Imma gonna go see her. I just have to! ok, Aimee and me started talking and kinda found each other. She's fun to talk with and I've had a great deal of laughs. I haven't met her (too bad) but we've talked over the net. I know things about her and she knows things about me. We talk about everything and nothing... She talkes about her problems with me and I sit an ocean away and try to help her the best I can. I tell her problems and she helps me. If she lived here or I lived in NY, I'd try to get her in a second... I think :p We all need to keep some secrets :p
But now we move back to this cold majestic place in the north where angry music flows through the speakers!:
There's this girl... She be hot... Her name is known to those who know. Shocker! Well, this girl seems great. Fun to talk with, cool personallity, good looks, so on and so forth. I may seem interested, no? Well, I think I am... I wouldn't mind to get to know her better on many levels. As a friend, or perhaps something more. Who knows... Good things comes to those who wait... Not to whine, but god knows I've waited :p I've met her at a few parties, we've talked a bit, we even got this internal joke already :p Perhaps this will give someone a few clues about who it is. The only problem I see is this, as her friend pointed out for me: She's a popular girl... I'd have to fight to get her... perhaps even fight hard... If she's worth it, I don't really know yet... But I'd take the chances... Somethings are worth taking chances for... Perhaps that "pot of gold" will be there at the end, or perhaps there will only be problems... Either way, I'd have to take my chances to find out... And lately, I've actually been looking forward to taking some chances. I'm sick and tired of just waiting for good things to come along... I've figured out that some things won't come falling into my hands. I have to work to get things. That's life.. To get back on track: I think I'll take my chances and see what this could bring. hehe, it may seem that I'm falling madly into love here... But it isn't love... not yet at least... It's getting interested... The pure fun of the hunt if you know what I mean :p
...and with that, I leave you to continue wondering... hehe :p I know, I'm a mean bastard! *mohahahaha*
iktah, a thoughtful guy...
"OH MY GAWD!": was the most describing words I had in my head when I finished reading a book today. Good news/bad news scenario for me: Good: I've read all the books Dan Brown has written... Bad: I've read all the books he's written and the next one doesn't have a release date yet. To quote his website: "When is your next novel coming out? Because my novels are so research-intensive, they take a couple of years to write. My next novel will be another Robert Langdon adventure (picking up, in fact, where The Da Vinci Code left off). Currently, there is no release date scheduled because the book is not yet near completion." For me that kinda sucks since I want to read more from Dan Brown.
My thoughts about Dan brown as a writer/storyteller: This man is a friggin' genious. His books are so captivating that when I start reading them I can't put them down untill I'm done with them. (usually a couple of hours. 5 at the tops.) Then I sit back, relaxing and start to really let it dawn on me what the story said and so-forth. I sit there with this feeling of happyness and think through the book and many of the plots. IT'S SHEER BRILLIANCE!!!
Digital Fortress: If you're a computer geek/nerd/wiz-kid or something in those areas like me, this book WILL somewhat scare you considering personal security on the WWW. The plot revolves around The NSA (NoSuchAgency) and the privacy question. I found this book really entertaining, thrilling and a little scary. Not those bedtime scary-stories as kids, but genuine scared about what can happend. Either way, make your own choice :) READ!
Deception Point: This book I read today and couldn't put down. The plot is thrilling and captivating. When you think you start to get it, WHAM! something big happends and you sit there all shellshocked about what just happened and reding further in anticipation to check out what comes next. My words to you: READ IT! Oh, btw: When picturing the director of NRO (National Reconnaissance Office) I could only picture him as Brian Cox. This guy is the perfect person for this part, trust me :D
Angels & Demons: The first book containing the hero Robert Langdon. A cool dude, a teacher with humor and an intellect as razor sharp as it can get. Tho, sometimes kinda slow to get the solutions to things, he get's there :)
This book is the first to raise questions about religion and the good faith of the church. I can't say that I'm against the church or that the bible is a giant hoax, but I really can't say otherwise either. My personal issues aside, this is also a brilliant story. Really captivating and fast paced. At one place in the book I couldn't get away from mentally quoting the movie "10 Things I hate about you". Some time into the movie things get kinda screwed, one friend runs to the other saying: "The shit hath hitteth the fan!"
The reason this is so funny to me is because it's one of the best ways I've heard the saying said. Anyways, Why I thought of it is because in this plot, the shit hits the fan... BIG TIME! You'll have to read it to get my drift :p
The Da Vinci Code: YAY, Robert Langdon returns. This is TEH BOOK that caused heavy mayhem in the religious areas of Europe and the States. Things in this book is so controversally that you can't help to think that Dan Brown has some very excellent points. Belive me, I wasn't a person that wore down the steps of the church before I read this book... Can't say that I'm gonna start doing it now.
If you're gonna read a book in the distant future, read one of the books I've mentioned here. If you need science fiction, history and killings: Read the bible. Not as a book of religion, but a book of history. I'll get back to that issue later.
My oppinion to you: Get these books and let your mind be delighted at the pure snack they are :D
To sum up the post about Dan Brown and his books: I've got to say that Dan, (yeah, we're on first name basis. He's a really cool guy and really down to earth personallity. A good friend :p), is my new favorite author. This guy can really write a good book that captivates you. The only thing I can say: ALL HAIL DAN BROWN! HE BE MASTER!!!
hehe, just had to get that of my chest. I guess a lot of people will join me :)
Oh, just thought of something: I'm Norwegian. I speak, think and write Norwegian as my first language. But sometimes it feels like I have English as the first language. I write and think better in English than Norwegian. I can build sentences WAY better and describe things more direct in English than in Norwegian. I think my brain hath been upgraded to v 2.0 *ponders the idea...* On that note; perhaps this is also why I read things faster when they are written in English... It would seem that my brain can prosess the words, syllables, sentences and nuances faster when in English. COOL! I've got a new brain!!! GO ME!!!
Other: To clarify a few things; I'm a christian and registered in the state church. I wont go around shouting that God is all and shit like that. I'll just leave that for the twits currently holding our government. They are the frigging fanatics. :p
Even though I'm a christian doesn't mean that I find al the things in that religion is good. Those fuckers are some of the meanest bastards in history. The crusades to bring people to Christ was ust a huge fucking killingspree to get some blood on their swords or some shit like that. As far as history goes: the bible is a good book. I bet there's things in there that so far from the truth as it can come. Other things are possibly true.
I find religions interesting. Norse, Greek and Egyptian Mythology is cool. Other religions are also cool. Fuck, I kinda lost the track of what I was gonna say... *thinks*
Yeah, as I was saying. I'm a christian, But I don't exactly follow the belives. On a personal basis: I'm more of that dark kind of guy... Thinking there needs to be evidence before I can trully belive in something. But I still like to play with the idea that there are Extraterrestial Intelligence out there and there are a dark force having phun on earth. I loved "Little Nicky" with Adam Sandler.
But I think that's it for today.. Oh, update on love: Ain't got love, but there's a girl I've been scoping out lately. tho younger, seems like a cool chick I could Enjoy beeing with :D
iktah, the speed reader!
Hello: to you. I decided that since I have nothing else to do right now, I'd make the years first post. *yay me*
These past few days has been really stressful and shit. This saturday i was a guard @ a techo-party here in Trondheim, called One Floor From Heaven that's arranged by teens and young adults between the ages of 16-23 that usually hangs out at the channel #undergrunn@EFnet. We estimate that we had about 900 - 1000 paying guest passing through our doors between 9pm and 2am (21.00-02.00), so it was kinda wild. We had a 3 floors with music. On the main floor there were severa dj's playing, amongst them: Amber D, Ceejay, dj *lp* and Paul Maddox. They be good :D
Since I was a guard I had to work, and I don't say that's a bad thing. Beeing the Guard in charge for the OFFH-guards i had to be many places at one time and that's kinda stressing. We also had a deal with a guard form called Effect that took care of the doors and the main stuff. My guys took care of checking for alcohol that the peeps hided around the building (we had to, it was a no drinks party), but we sold soft-drinks inside so they didn't go thirsty :p
When the party was done I went home (gee, what a bomb) but didn't manage to get some sleep so I stayed up for a few more hours. How long is for me to know, not you :p
Enter Today: Since me and my dad has been making the basement look better than it has, we had to go to IKEA and get a few new items. We got a new desk, a new table and some other stuff. All in all we spent aprox 5 hours to get the stuff. I've got to say, when we're done this basement is gonna look fawking pron! New linoleum flooring, new couch, table, desk and lighting. I can't wait. :DDDD
In other news: Still single and somewhat tired/pissed off about it, but I've come to terms that if I wait an angel will prolly fall into my hands :)
Ok, I've whined about my situation to some of my friends. Who doesn't? I've got a few girls around that I'd love to have. Hell, I've got a good eye for some of them. Ain't so hard to figure out why if ya'll knew who they were and such :p
Hmm, I guess that's it for this time. I'll try to update more often, I promise. I REALLY DO!!! *evil grin*
iktah, guard and redecorating expert :p
GGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDD MOOOOOORRRRRNNNNIIIINNNNNGGG WEB: and a hello to ya'll freaks that reads my blog :)
Me and a friend was talking about beeing called cute and how we are REALLY REALLY tired of it... It's like this: People call us cute instead of Beautiful, hot, sexy and so on and so forth. Howcome? Doesn't people deserve to hear that they are sexy and such more often than every 2 years (in my case)? Are people really that afraid of telling other people what they think? I seem to recall a thread on a forum I hang on that was about this... And most of the girls replied that they would rather say that a guy was cute when they were amongst their friends instead of saying that they thought he was a real hottie! wtf is that about?!? Do people really focus that much on what their friends and people around them think? I know I don't.. well, most of the time that is :p
I would rather say to a girl that I think she's friggin hawth than just plain cute... Think a little about it... Girls go around their first years as cute... Daddy's little girl, she's so cute... When they start to turn into young women, they instantly go from cute to pretty/beautiful in their own minds. And as soon as they reach 15, all hell is loose if you call them cute... Why, you may ask? Because they are fucking tired of beeing called cute, mostly because they've been called that since they could recognize the word. Most likely, I think :p
Back to topic: Why do people say cute when they mean otherwise? That I don't know. But as my friend and I continued talking we got into the part when we thought about people that we know is beeing called hot, sexy, drop dead beautiful and so on right to their faces and amongst friends. We talked a little back and forth about this and came to terms that it had something to do with reputation... The DREADED reputation... *ph34r*
When thinking about how we look: me and her. I can't really understand how or why we aren't good looking. I know I'm not the hottest guy, but I'm not ugly either. And in my oppinion, she's friggin hawth :)
But it seems that the people that get most of the attention and good comments are people with a certain reputation.
Chicks: The girls that attract most guys, have a reputation of beeing somewhat easy, that thinks more about how their makeup is than how skanky their clothes might be... In my oppinion and thought: airheads!
Guys: The guys that attract most girls, who have an entire flock of chicks after them all the time, who tries to be be cool most of the time, that thinks more about who they are gonna fuck this weekend and who to cheat on... In my oppinion: players!
What these two groups have in common is this: They spend shitloads of money on their bodies, clothes, makeup(chicks), cell-phones and so on. Another thing is that they have a lot of people who's interested in them, and because of that other people will also get interested because we humans are simple. We want what we can't get, most of the time that is :p And what other people want, we want also. It's like this: a girl want's this guy, her friend can't be any worse so she want's him too. Why? because her friend want's him. What attracts one person in a gang, will most likely attract the other persons on the gang.
When you see a player or airhead at a party, you can recognize them by the flock of people hanging around them and craving for that person's attention. It's really not that hard. So, that was what we figured out... Then I started to wonder if people today are blind for the facts that are there, right in front of them. The facts about the persons they want. Why do chicks like the players, when they know they will most likely end up hurt because he cheated on them or something like that? Are people really that fucking blind? I would rather get a girlfriend that wouldn't cheat on me and play with my feelings than get one who would. Most people will agree with me on that one I think. But then again, why doesn't the guys and girls see that?
A friend of mine said some wise words sometime back: Good Guys Finish Last. When he first said it I agreed with him. It's true, look around you. The good people that will treat their girl/boyfriends good are the ones left single, because people want the most hot chicks and the most handsome guys. In X-Men 2 there's a really good line that kinda backs up this rant, but also kinda destroys it: "Girls flirt with the dangerous guys, but they marry the good guys." or something like that. Can't really remember. But my point is this: Why do we go after the people that hurt us? Why don't we choose the people that won't hurt us?
I think it's about time I got more back to the issue at hand: When choosing a person to be with, would you rather have the most goodlooking person that may or may not cheat on you because they can or the person that still is good looking but most likely won't hurt you? It's a hard one, isn't it? Well, not for me. I would go for the most kind and trustworthy person. The most reliable one.
Another thing is this: There is a saying that the persons that are most kinky and best in the bed are the persons that are kind and somewhat shy. If you know what I mean ;) When going around and beeing nice all the time, they have to get the bad side out somehow... And most times it's in bed :)
So here's a thought: The players and airheads go around and brag about their stuff and shit like that. They are supposed to be so fucking great lovers and so on... Nah, can't say that I've experienced that, and I have had sex with airheads... The best sex I've had is with a person that's more in the background of the crowd... So, to give ya'll player/airheads wannabefuckers something to think about: How about trying something different for a change? Look around you and see what better things there are to be with than cheating/betraying morons, you will most likely be supprised :)
And that was my nightly thinking and ranting
iktah, The philisopher of the night :)
Hapfy hewyar: ya'll... Even though it's almost 2,5 month's since that day was :p What can I say... Perhaps as always: it's been a while since I've updated this thingie, I've got a lot to write about, I'm soooo terribly sorry that it's been such a long time(ya right...), and so on and so forth....
One thing is different then the last time I said that... I'm not bullshittin' you :p hehe.
Well, here 'tis shit moves :
I've got a job... It's pretty easy too :) My job consist of doing: *drumroll* not a damn thing... I'm still unemployed :P
So my days still is about doing nothing, spending time online, smoking a good deal of tobacco, drinking even more coke, reading books (hey, perhaps I'll get smarter), drooling infront of the telly, renting movies and watching them.... Perhaps use some of my valuable time and hang with friends :p... Hey, good news... Still single... ehm... yup... that wasn't really correct was it? good news? bah, fuck it! The sotry goes somehting like this: I don't really fall in love with girls... I just get interested... IF I fall in love with them, it's after we've started going steady.. dunno why that is... perhaps it's just because I have a tendency to not getting close to that many people so that I fall in love with them... I can be interested, and all the people around me would think that I'm in love with someone... And they start harassing me with all these questions about that person that I may be interested in... Do people really have so little things to do that they want to know what kind of person that would even consider beeing interested/in love with me? Is it really so fucking hard to think that some girls actually have brains and good taste? face it, I'm the best catch there has to be... well, if people really have that little faith in me and my lovelife they can go jump of a high cliff. No kiddn'... I really don't care what people think about me... Well, if it negative things that is. If a person thinks good things about me, I welcome it... But if they only think bad shit about me and stuff like that, FUCK 'EM!!!
bah, got sidetracked there :p well, to be honest... One of the reasons why I don't get to close to people isn't becase I'm afraid of what they might think about me and/or discover about me... I'm that kind of person that sort of live my life on the outside... I don't keep too many secrets about myself... Hell, if someone comes up to me and ask me a question about myself I tend to answer them truthfully. But some things I speak about. Ony a few people really know me and know how I really think... Ya'll know who you are :p But the reason that I don't get to close with people is because I don't want them to hurt me. Because if they know what hurts me, they can really fuck me up. People can call me names and shit like that, I don't even bother to dignify things like that with a normal answer. I just laugh and smile at them. What else is there to do? Get pissed of at them and snap? no, not me... I'm used to people treating me badly, so I really don't give a fuck :) But back to the subject: When people get close to me, they find out a great deal about me.... Those things are amongst the things that can hurt me... I've got this inner wall you see, because of all the years I was bullied when I attended school. And if I get a girlfriend, it's something you all know... When you're in a realtionship, you want to know "all" about the other person... am I right? sooo, because of my wall I don't let people get to close to the inner me because that's where I keep all the good things that I consider "my life". And if a person get's inside the wall and starts to know about things that's hidden there, I'm basically atthat person's mercy. That person can decide what to do... Either keep it there or using it against me... Then I really have nothing... if a person get's inside, I have nothing left for myself... This are in a way the thoughts I have about: Why I'm single, Why I'm an asshole many times and so on.
Back to people who knows me and such: I had a pretty weird moment a few weeks ago... This dude comes up to me and says: "Hey! Aren't you Tommy? iktah? Hell yeah, IT IS YOU!!! How are you doing?!? dude, you are one of the coolest people I know. Man, we are good friends bro'!!!" And I just stood there with this amazing dumb look on my face... thinking to myself: WHO THE FUCK IS THIS GUY?!?!?!?!?!? And he stood there and talked to me for about half an hour about things I've done and stuff like that... holy hell, that was a scary half hour... He knew about a lot of things that is written on this site and things that's not here... How the fuck did he know about all those things. I swear to god, I've never met him or talked to him before... And I know I haven't met him at any partys I've been to... fuck, I'm still scared... Well, end of tis part is that he had to go and take the buss home (*phew*), and a friend of mine stood beside me the whole time with a "what the fuck" look on her face... She asked me after the guy left: "what the hell was that all about, and who the hell was he. He knows more about you than I know...." and the only thing I could reply with: "I have no fucking clue..." Later that afternoon I met a chick that said Hi Tommy to me, and started talking with me. Haven't met her before either, but it turnes out that her older sister was a friend of me before. She knew a lot about me that I talked with her sister about. It seems that her sister kinda had a crush on me and told her little sister all about me and stuff like that... She went home after a while, but before that she wanted my number. I gave it to her whitout thinking much about it... hell, how many people that has my number I don't know... But right before she jumped on the buss she gave me a promise that she was gonna give me a call... that scared me... She's friggin hot too :D But the point of all this is there's a lot of people that claims to know me well and such, and I don't have a fucking clue about who they are. I really don't know how to respond to people that comes up to me when I'm walking down the street and talkes to me like they've known me for a while. Any clues to how I should respond is welcome :)
over to other news: The 19th April I move from trondheim to lillehammer.
I've been drafted. Going to serve in the Norwegian army. Can't wait. I'm
so fucking tired of this town and a lot of people in it. I can't wait to
get to a new place and meet new people :D
Lately there's been a few setbacks in my life: little money, not much of a social life outside IRC, girl's i've been interested in getting boyfriends or not wanting to meet me and such, getting harassed by some people... A few :p But like the song says: Always look on the bright side of life *whistles*
And because of those setbacks, I've thought more about my plans to enlist and getting an education and a job whithin the army. And that means beeing a few years away from "home"! Can't really say that I don't welcome the Idea. well, if you know me and have thoughts about it give me a shout when you meet me or drop me a line about it :)
Well, dunno what else to write at this point... Anything else would just be meaningless rambling :p
iktah, soon to be a raving through a forest near you! :) (dunno if you'll see me, I'll be wearing camuflage clothes :P)
Hi: ya'll. It's been a while since I've updated the diary. A few things has happened since the last long ranting. so, here it goes:
I've stopped working at Norges geologiske Undersøkelse/The geological Survey of Norway since I'm done as a student there. So now days I'm just beeing a lazy ass sleeping half the day, get up when my mum gets home from work and eat. Then I go down to the basement and log on. Chatting a bit, surfing a couple of websites and stuff. Kinda cool. It's like I have my vacation finally. WOHOOOO!!!
damn... writingblock SUCKS MOOSEDICK! I dunno what to write...
Ahh, I know. I've got this girl who loves me and stuff. She tells me that I'm Mr. Perfect.... I've got all the good sides and all the bad sides she's looking for in a guy. The problem is this: She loves me but I don't love her. And with that I break her heart. Whatever I do or say to her I hurt her in some way. If I tell her that I'm not looking for a girlfriend nowdays and such (it's the truth) I hurt her. Her main problem is her selfesteem since she thinks the reason I don't want her is because she's "not normal uninteresting" in her own words. She has this friend who most guys are interested in and fall in love with. Sure nuf, if I had her friend laying infront of me naked and wanting me... hell, I wouldn't say no for a litte "cuddling". Nut My friend says that her friend is normal and VERY INTERESTING. In her way of looking at things I should be in love with her friend. I started laughing and said: "sorry to dissapoint you, but I'm not in love with her."
My friend has this way of thinking the worst things. So in her head I don't want her because she's ugly and so on. She knows what I'm thinking and feeling, so she told me. christ. I don't really know what to do. I wish that this whole shit would just disappear so I didn't have to think about it so much. If anybody out there has an idea about how I can solve this please send me a mail at this address!
Hmm, this whole thing is kinda strange to think about... Why would a girl fall so fucking hard in love with me. I'm just me, I'm just tommy. a strange guy that nobody really likes. I kinda have this tendency to think that the people that know me will in some way try to take advantage of me. Dunno why, guess I'm just paranoid. I kinda think bad things about people that don't deserve that. Perhaps things are in that way that they plan something towards me. Dunno. If so, shit will hit the fan sometime. That day, oh man. It's gonna be hillarious. I can't wait. I think I'm gonna laugh so hard that I will actually wet my pants. (No, I'm not drunk at this moment)
So, to kinda try to sum up things:
I'm without a job = no money = lazyass
I've got a girl that loves me but I don't love her = heartbreak for her = sadness for me because I break her heart
I'm a sick person who don't know shit about shit and I should really pull up my pants.
Thank you, and good day.
iktah, the owner of a strange place called my world!
The Plan: was that I was gonna write in the diary today, But I haven't got the time right now. I'll write here tomorrow. Promise :p
It's 04:50 am: and I'm dead tired. Today I've been at falxx's place with some of my friends and some people I haven't met before. It was a lot of fun. Many jokes was told, propably 65 % was on someone's behalf. The lot who was there or dropped by was: akai, andai, cruz, falxx, hardy, tica, diaz, graham, juleduk, cyb97 (I think), cyb's other half, and two guys I don't know who is. Some of us went downtown right after 12 am, but we couldn't figure ut where to go. diaz, hardy and the two guys went to After Dark and falxx, tica, akai and me went to Milennium kebab and got something to eat. Well, back to the party thingie... tica took a picture of me that I actually liked. That's something that doesn't happend often these days. After I started working for partynett I've started to really dislike pictures of myself. My job is behind the camera, not infront of it :p
Well, dunno why I've been so happy these last few weeks... Could perhaps be that the world smiled to me and showed me something that I didn't expect for a while. Some thing's are better unsaid :p But my point is this: when things seem to go my way and go upwards, something comes and fuck it all up. What have I done to deserve this?!? What is this my punishment for? Is it somehting I've done? Is it something I haven't done that I should have done? Am I beeing punished for something I've done in an earlyer life? Is it a curse within my family? I don't know...
Perhaps I should tell you why it's going downhill REALLY FAST NOW: I've recived good things lately. I'm free of debt to people exept the bank, momm and dad. My car works, I've got money, I have it really good. Then fate, or Ruthia (the guardian angel of luck) that I like to call her, has a twisted sense of humor (or something like that) grab me by the balls and throw me around the room... Won't tell you why and what it is about, but trust me... It ain't good...
I'm done with The Ultimate Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy and I hated the
ending. It sucked. But, the book was teh rock!!!
When you're done reading the book/series you sit with a different view on things. Douglas Adams was a great person I think. It would be cool talking to him, but that's impossible. He's dead, pity. Even if he was alive, talking to him would still be impossible since he was teh writer and I'm just a normal ordinary guy from norway. hmm... wonder where I'm going with this ranting about this... dunno.
Well, I'm off to bed then. ooohhh... I can't wait untill Monday... A friend of mine is coming back from France... I'm getting lot's of things. Smokes (I think) and she will tend to my needs... My shoulders that is. They are stiff as hell and really bothering me. well well. i'll propably write something here later when I feel like it. Good night!
iktah. So long, and thanks for all the fish ;)
We understand y00: I've read shitloads of things since I updated :)
Douglas Adams: The Ultimate Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy must sure be the best book/series I've read in a loooong time. That book gives you a great perspective on some things.
My good friend Odin has struck gold... He's got a girlfriend and they are hopelessly devoted to eachother.
forum is up'n running, but by far done. things are in norwegian... sorry guys.
gallery works with a lot of pictures....
I totally dont know what I'm doing and just rambling down some shit...
iktah, the poor lad...
A lot: of things has happened since I last updated the diary :)
My good friend Odin has gone to oslo for a week, and is then going to the states for a #babylon5@EFnet gathering. Wish I was going with him. Would be cool to go to the states for a holliday and meet the people that I speek with on b5 :) A sick gang they are, but cool. I've gotten many good laughs because of them. hmm.. I haven't slept good since night to Thursday, so my head is actually quite fucked up right now.
I started wondering about why and who I fall in love with. Dunno why I get interested in girl 3-4 years younger than me. I know what I get and all the trouble it get's me in. Hell, if I get a girlfriend that's perhaps 16, my head fucks up. I start to find faults with her the moment I set my eyes on her. Dunno what my problem is. A lot of girls that age are pretty and smart, but shitloads of them are airheads. *laughs* well, a lot of girls my age are like that too, so there's actually no evidence of change in them as they grow older. Their interests change and stuff like that, and they start thinking more adult like but they are still airheads. Back to the point eyh! Well, dunno what to say... I've noticed some changes with myself lately. I'm not that perverted and hostile towards people anymore... *sobs* WHY?!? That's not the only thing that has changed, I've also noticed that my mind has started to change... I've become more adult myself. I don't fall in love all the time anymore, I get interested... It seems that nowdays I've actually got to find a lot of things with a person that apeals to me before I let myself become attracted towards a person. There is some points that HAS to be there before I fall in love. What those are, I'm not going to reveal... 1. It's waaay to personal. 2. I actually don't know what all of them are myself. *laughs* hm... Now i'm just ranting again without any point in what I'm saying. I think it's funny...
the period of time since my last post I've met a beautiful girl that meets
a lot of those "pointers" I have. She's cool, funny, great and
so on. I can't describe her because she kinda seems perfect to me... I know
there are a lot of people that's gonna start wondering who this is and ask
me to tell them. well, up yours :p It's for me to know, and for you to find
out the hard way *snicker*
If things are normal, this girl won't have feelings for me and stuff like that. My fucking luck! *curses* well, that's killed before anything can get any bigger. I actually fuck up things before I give it a chance. Kinda cool huh? ehh, right... so... why the fuck do I even bother to think about stuff like this, that a girl could possibly have any interest in me. Why would she, why should she? I will eventually fuck things up anyway. Think happy stuff. Dunno why I've become so totaly weird. Why wouldn't she have any interest in me. I notice that some girls have interest in me and stuff like that. Hell, I'm not ugly but I'm not beautiful either. I'm just plain cute... So i've been told. I've actually had this told to me: You are good looking, but not in that really hot good looking kinda style... what the fuck is that about?!? Don't ask me.. I don't fucking know.
Well, to sum up things: I'm interested in a girl, turning towards falling in love with her... I've gotten older(uhm), my mind is still totaly fucked ;)
Guess I'm going to sleep now since my ranting is kinda fucked. I've seriously got to get some sleep so that my head won't blow up.
iktah, the deranged lunatic who seriously think waaay to fucking much ;p
Geeze: I'm tired now. I've just been working since 21.00 - 03.30 taking pictures at a fucking foam party. I seriously had foam up to my nipples, and I'm not that short. I'm about 175m tall/short, and it reachedmy nipples. The clothes I had on are wet beyond!!! If I sqeeze the pants soap will come out from them. Kinda cool actually. hehe. Well... earlyer today I worked from 08.00 - 15.30 also. Went home, ate some dinner, showered and went downtown to work again. That explanes why I'm tired. My eyes are infact "burning" right now. I think it's fun. Well, I'm also a sick dude some say. Dunno what they are talking about.
Well, at this party I met several of my friends and I had a really good time. When I think about it, some of my friends are fucking HOT!!! well, my friends that are girls that is. Sure nuf, I can say if a guy is good looking. Some people would say that means I've got gay thoughts. I say, fuck you. I'm confident enough in myself and my sexual preference that I can say things like that. If a guy has the looks, I can say it. Most guys think that way, but are terrified to speak about it because they fear that it will ruin their "image". That's one thing I point and laugh about. If you are so fucking scared of your image that you can't say things like that, I must say that it's a pitiful image. Sure nuf, I think I have an image and my image is this: I say whatever I want to say, I mean whatever I want to mean, and so on. I have respect for people and things like that, but I'm no afraid of telling them that their dress looks like shit as an example. hmm... I dunno what I should write about so I just keep ranting. mwahahahahahaha.
yeah, back to what I was saying: Ive got some really hot friends (still
girls) who I met today. Too bad they all only look at me like a good friend.
I think that's God's way of punishing me: making it so that most girls only
look at me as a really good friend that they can talk about whatever they
want with. well well, I don't care. If I want a girlfriend, I just have
to find a girl that meet's my level. bla bla bla, this ain't interesting.
Well, tonight I meet one girl for the second time, and oh my God she was
beautiful. It feels like I get slammed to the wall when I see her. She has
a wonderful smile that melts me up every time I see it. And basically that's
every time shee looks at me. I was walking through the foam and she attacked
me with shitloads of foam that she dumped on my head. HAHA, the war was
on. We started to playfight in the foam and tossed eachother around and
threw foam and I found it extremely fun. Then we relaxed and started dancing
to the good vibes that came from the speakers. This is a girl I would like
to have as a girlfriend. But there is one thing, she is 15/16 and I'm turning
20. I don't consider myself as much older than her, but I've made up my
mind about not dating a girl that's more than 3 years younger than me because
of problems I've had earlyer. But like I've said, thinking negative only
gives myself problems. So, I'll work out the differences I have with my
head. It's like a marrige. My body wants that girl, my heart do... I think...
but my head says otherwise. bah, this I've got to do a little brainstorming
see, is there something else I should tell ya'll? hmm... I can't think of
anything else right now...
Two things before I go: 1. My friends meens much for me. I don't know what I would do without them. 2. YOU ARE ALL ENVY OF ME BECAUSE THE VOICES IN MY HEAD ONLY SPEEK TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!
well, I'm off to bed. Have some serious thinking to do. well, speaks!
tha happy iktah, a hero ranting @ night!!!